In hot water...

Anyone remember that filling I didn't have before I came away? I foolishly mentioned it to Susanna, the UBECI social worker, while we were discussing public health provision in Ecuador. Thus before I could think of a fast enough avoidance tactic, I had a date with an unknown Ecuadorean dentist. I tried to rationalise this as a fascinating cultural experience or at the very least some useful padding forthis blog but I can't say I was looking forward to it much. Chris was punishing me for years of dental neglect by looking grave and refusing to offer an opinion as I vacillated between joy at the bargainous price I was quoted (ten quid for a white filling) and a nagging fear that I didn't know enough spanish to explain that I didn't want every tooth extracted with pliers. Señor Dentist turned out to be a big, stern looking bear of a man in his sixties, who keeps his dentist chair in his office which looks like it might be a spare bedroom, and sterilises his instruments in some sort of pressure cooker. Without further preamble he prised my mouth open and stuck his head inside. Clearly my mouth was more interesting than I had given it credit for as he then invited the dental nurse, Susanna the social worker, Chris and I believe some of the neighbours in to have a look at my horrible tooth. Hmmm, urgh, argh everyone said in a grave tone, including Chris which I thought a trifle unfair in the circumstances as he then retreated into the waiting room when the drill was produced. "You need 108 fillings" beamed the dentist (I may have mistranslated the number in my shock). "How many would you like me to do today?" At this point Chris came back to advise me not to have 108 fillings in one sitting. So I settled for the one I was absolutely sure I needed, just in case the dentist turned into a plier wielding maniac. Then the drilling started. Well, it wasn't awful. There was an awkward moment when my mouth filled with water (having never had a filling I had no idea what was happening with the little water running thingy they use) and, suspecting inaccurately that I was undergoing some kind of waterboarding, I flailed wildly, coughed, spat water all over myself and the dentist and then tried to escape, hitting my head on the lamp in the process. Fortunately Señor Dentista seemed to find this funny. Having strapped me back in the job was completed with no further mishap, although he did try to tell a funny joke about pliers at one point. I tensed my jaw ever so slightly to remind him that his fingers were between my teeth, and I think he took the hint. I'm still not entirely sure that he didn't use polyfilla, but Chris tells me whatever work has been done is not visible. And the dentist did give me a hug for being brave, which definitely didn't happen on the NHS last time. At the other end of the pain pleasure spectrum this week we also went for a relaxing day trip to the Papallacta Thermal Baths (heated by volcanoes I am led to believe). It was all rather posh and swanky, with nine hot pools and three cold plunge pools, and we had the place practically to ourselves. This was my first time in a hot spring and it was marvellous. Apparently the waters are used to restore neuro-vegetative equilibrium, whatever that may be, but all I know is that I was almost comatose with relaxation by the end of it, although I was slightly worried throughout that the mineral salts might be dissolving my new filling. I was half envisaging (and hoping) for the water around me to turn a murky black colour as the toxins leached out of me, but sadly this did not happen- another myth cruelly debunked. After a few hours in a hot bath I had shrivelled into a raisin (for my body is made up almost entirely of toxins which were all now in the pool) so we got out and went and restored my neuro-alcoholic equilibrium witha refreshing beer. Finally, I should note for the record that I am once again attempting to give up smoking. Chris has dobbed me into the house family and now every time they ask him why we aren't married he tells them how many cigarettes I've had in a day and they all tell me off. In this manner he neatly circumvents the moral quandary by cheating. Clearly I cannot sit idly by and allow him to outfox me with impunity and desperate times call for desperate measures. Fortunately my body is now a temple so it will be EASY...